Day 23: Write a letter to someone, anyone.
Okay, I’ll admit, my brain immediately went to “write a letter to your future self.” But then I thought, “what about your daughter? Or loved ones as a whole?” And then I creeped myself out because that seems, well, ya know. Weird, in a way? So how about a letter to…everyone. In my life, I mean. Not in a future, scary kind of way, but in a currently happening now sort. So,
Dear Everyone I know,
I’m an oddball, I know this. I know you know this. But I thank you for accepting me, because that’s part of who I am. And if you haven’t then we can part ways and I wish you a happy life.
I’m needy and insecure. I need to be told that I matter, or made to feel like I exist. If I’m part of your world (go ahead, sing the song) in anyway, don’t hide that if a situation arises where it’s almost screaming for a just shout out to yours truly. I’ll begin to distrust you and that never ends well.
I’m sorry for being hyper irrational…sometimes. I added the ‘sometimes’ because not every situation calls for an over the top irrational reaction and I’m aware of this. But some do. It’s a balance and if you understand this, then you understand me.
I love and trust very easily. Not the romantic love but the friendship, companionship, buddies-for-life love. If we bond over something and chat regularly for a short (or long) while, chances are, you’re in. And I’m not an apologist over emotions like this. So if my intensity is too much, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
I get excited very easily. If you know me or have known me for a while, it doesn’t take much to get me going on a subject or thing I love. I’m animated and boisterous and I’m okay with this. I appreciate it if you are, too.
Contrary to popular belief, I’m not an open book. I’ve had many people come along and wreck my content and so I’ve stopped allowing that to happen. Of course you’ll get the excitement and the “Oh, I loooove that,” but if you pay attention, it’s almost always over things that are already in the public domain or well worn topics. The only place I’m ever really ME is here, on this blog. And no one really reads this, so.
I’m loyal to a fault. I will never, ever apologize for this character trait – not to anyone I’m loyal to anyway. Perhaps myself, because I don’t know if I’ve ever had the same given to me in return, at least from friends. Which is heartbreaking, when I think about it. And I’m sorry if you think you’ve provided that for me – maybe I’m wrong. I’d like to be proven wrong, honestly. And yes, that’s my selfish side talking. Which is a thing I also have. But yes, if you are my friend or family member, I make no qualms with making you feel #1 whenever you’re with or taking to me. I just instinctually default to this type of behavior and whether or not it’s healthy for me or good for you, it just is.
I love you. Because I do. Sorry not sorry.
Jackie…or Eve. 😉